If Canadiens Fans Were A Race, I'd Be A Racist

I had to post the picture at left of Marc Savard scoring the winning goal in Game 3 of the Bruins-Habs series, because I couldn't enjoy it enough. I'll remember this image, as well as the image of idiot Montreal fans leaving the building quickly, for quite some time. And I'll have to, since it will most likely be a while before the Bruins beat them again.

I was trying to explain to a non-hockey fan today how much I hate the Canadiens and their fans, and even just saying I hated them more than I hate the Yankees and their fans wasn't sufficient enough to explain it. And then after work, I finally figured it out: If Canadiens fans were a race, I would be a complete, unabashed racist whenever I met a moron wearing a flag with their despicable logo. I would proudly discriminate against them all. I would immediately assume that the color of their jersey meant they had an inferior intellect. I would stereotype them all as effeminate, Eurotrash-wannabe, entitled douchebags, when maybe only 95% of their fans actually are these things.

So, I'll be unhappy if the Canadiens close out their series with the Bruins tonight, but I won't be disappointed in the Bruins' effort, nor disappointed because the Bruins aren't moving on (they weren't title contenders), but just disappointed that a team full of preening floppers (and, as always, a nasty goalie) with moronic, undeserving fans is the one moving on.

Bruins Make Playoffs, Prepare For Goliath

At this point, it may not matter what the Bruins want. The only way they can avoid playing the Montreal Canadiens in the first round of the playoffs is if Pittsburgh beats Philadelphia in overtime/shootout today. A Philly win drops the Bruins to 8th and secures 1st for the Habs, while a Pittsburgh win in regulation drops Montreal to 2nd and keeps the Bruins in 7th.

Now, playing the Penguins with Crosby, Malkin and Hossa isn't exactly a great matchup either, but at least the Bruins have beaten them once this year. Boston's 0-7-1 record against their French Canadian rivals has been the biggest black mark on their otherwise successful season. Could they beat Montreal? Sure. They played the Habs much tougher in the last two meetings, and got a point out of the final game when they needed it, and Tim Thomas could definitely be the kind of goalie that carries his team past a superior opponent. Unfortunately, I can't get past the thought that the chances of the Bruins getting four wins against them when they couldn't get one in the regular season are slim at best.

Of course, if we did reverse the nightmare of the 2004 playoffs on the Montreal motherfuckers, it would give me endless enjoyment.

Bizarro AL East Standings! Get Out!! **shove**

Obviously it's still April, and the chances that this actually holds up is almost zero, but the AL East standings look quite different from what everyone is used to in recent years:




1. Tampa Bay Rays 3-1
1. Baltimore Orioles 3-1
3. Toronto Blue Jays 3-2
4. Boston Red Sox 3-3
5. New York Yankees 2-3

Maybe shortening their team name was just what Tampa Bay needed to become a juggernaut. Now, if those are the standings when the Celtics season ends, then I'll probably be a little disappointed, but considering that both of Boston's winter sports teams are in the playoffs for the first time in three or four years, I'm just not that into April baseball this time around.